Gingrek Hiarious - Serial killer.

[let's blame the pause in posting on some personal health issues, and the subject on my recent obsession with Criminal Minds (Wednesday nights on CBS).  Okay? Carry on. <3]

Hiarious - 2012, n. Gingrek Hiarious was a Dlengard serial killer and kidnapper who murdered seventeen people.  Hiarious led a relatively normal public life, holding a steady job as a medical technician and volunteering his time at a local psychiatric hospital.  His preferred method was blunt force trauma and strangulation after observing his victims undergo a hallucinogenic episode he induced with medication stolen from his workplace.  He was captured by chance during a routine traffic stop. A police officer suspected he was under the influence of birglek, an illegal narcotic which causes erratic body movements and behavior while the user is under its effects.  In actuality, Hiarious's latest intended victim was regaining consciousness and interfering with his ability to operate the vehicle.

During the trial, Hiarious was able to conceal a small firearm in his underpants.  When he was declared guilty and sentenced to life in prison, Hiarious opened fire, killing his lawyer and two of the jurors.  He was shot and killed by court officers.

Pronunciation: "Chin-grek Yah-ree-us"

etymology:  3/2/12

Lisa: ps, this fic has a chapter from hermione's point of view, and her thoughts are very logically ordered, complete with bullet points

Molly: hahahaha
she thinks like a flow-chart
Lisa: it's pretty hiarious
damn this keyboard 

Molly: Hiarious is the name of a vicious killer from Dlegnard.
he murdered 14 people before being pulled over by chance on a suspected DUI traffic stop
this is a planet with a technology level similar to earth in the 1960s
but who never discovered atomic energy
Lisa: what a fantastic place that would be
Molly: anyway, Hiarious was sentenced to life in prison, but he got a weapon into the court room and killed his lawyer and two of the jurors
Lisa: now i want a milkshake. thanks a lot.
jeez
that's terrible
Molly: he's not a great guy
Lisa: seriously tho
milkshake
Molly: i do too
Lisa: [MOLLEXICON]
Molly: want to go to red robin after/before petsmart?

OH SHIT IT'S WEDNESDAY. I mean... Freenow, noun, Planetary System

Freenow - 2011, n. Freenow a planetary system of 4 [Four] known gas giants orbiting a white dwarf-pulsar binary system.  The two largest planets have several moons apiece whose conditions could be favorable for harboring bacteria if temperatures allowed.  However, very little liquid water has been found thus far.  Surveillance of the system is limited by the slow advancement of interstellar probe technology.

pronunciation: "frey-now"

etymology: 9/27/11

Molly: i just got done wrestling a bear
i mean SAP
Molly: did nina tell you
wifi at jury duty is freenow
free now
the Freenow system is an enormous cluster of gas giants orbiting a pulsar about 60 million light years from earth.
Lisa: oooh
is there life?
Molly: some of the larger planets have moons that are possibly harboring bacteria, but only a few have liquid water and remotely breathable air.
Lisa: hmm
are the instruments calibrated for lifeforms that breathe sulfur?
(also, MOLLEXICON)
Molly: they need to send probes, but it would take many years to reach them
Lisa: But I wanna know now! damnit, science.
Molly: they need better rockets!
Lisa: right??
let's build one

All because I wanted a tomato sandwich.

Sorry I skipped two weeks.  Here's a funny conversation:

Molly:  your boyfriend is torturing me
Lisa: oh, is he?
Molly: yes
Molly: uh oh
he's cruising for a bruising from you now
Lisa: man alive
what is he doing?
he won't tell me
Molly: >.>
[redacted link to a facebook status update where ALEJANDRO WASQUEZ was STIRRING THE SHIT] [names may have been altered to protect the guilty.] Lisa: oh!
looool
Molly: i would like to say in defense
that it is all his fault
all of it
nothing is mine
Lisa: of course.
Molly: bros before hos, lisa
BROS BEFORE HOS
Lisa: hahaha
Molly: he's the ho in this situation
Lisa: siblings before nibblings
Molly: um...
i don't.
thats.
no.
Lisa: your loss
Molly: are you a vampire
you have to tell me it's the law
Lisa: that's a myth
Molly: nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Lisa: looooooooool

Funny Chat - Brains and such.

5/13/11

Molly: i do
I AM IN YOUR BRAIN
THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENT
Lisa: GET OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT
Molly: no
i won't
and you can't make me
Lisa: damnit ok fine
i'll just make the accomodations so uncomfortable you'll leave
[commences incredible coffee-drinking, starvation, and wrong lens prescription]
Molly: it's cool, by the time it gets to your brain it's basically inert
Lisa: tell my head that.
pain will envelope youuuuuu
Molly: nah
i'm cool
keep trying, though, it's like a massage chair
Lisa: -.-
Molly: ahhhhhh
*makes brain castles*

**LATER**  [more after the jump!]

Caldenar - n, thriving Duchy.

Caldenar - noun, 2011. The peaceful Duchy of Caldenar is the largest royal estate on the planet of Jeldin, surpassing in size even the Kingdom of Derkan.  The chief export of Caldenar is a masterfully woven cloth, made from the hair of the domesticated Flyder, which is their national animal.  Caldenar is largely grassy, with great rolling planes perfectly suited to support the herbivorous Flyder, which then provides a plethora of byproducts from milk and fur to fuel and physical power for farming.  The citizens of Caldenar enjoy a relatively high standard of living and a temperate year-round climate.  Technology of Caldenar is equivalent to that of Earth's Ninth Century England.

pronunciation: "Kal-den-arr"

Etymology: 8/18/11

Molly: put it on the caldenar and i'll copy it to mine
Lisa: alrighty
Molly: Caldenar is a small duchy on the planet Jeldin.
Lisa: omg i read douchey
Molly: it's chief exports are woven cloth, dyed "wool" [not made from sheep, but rather a large hairy mammal called the Flyder] and organic milk.
Lisa: effin douchey planets
Molly: also from the flyder
Lisa: Flyder
are my favourite Caldenari critters
Molly: [mollexicon]
Lisa: oh right my job

Funny Conversations

So, in light of the fact that I apparently suck at updating this thing on time, I've decided to broaden the entry categories to include hilarious conversations that don't have definitions in them. These will be tagged as "funny chats" and generally not contribute to the Mollexicon definition base, but are really easy to post. SORRY. Sometimes they end up being about a previous definition, though, so there's that.

And without further ado, our inaugural Funny Chat entry:

8/31/11

Lisa: back
Molly: oh hi
i didn't see you there
Lisa: ninja
Molly: you may have noticed that i am [computing, doing correspondence, building a robot]
i am so please you could join me today, as we learn about
[insert class title here]
come with me as we embark on a wonderful journey of learning!
[actress stands and walks to a giant screen, carrying a long pointer]
[tape reel cuts off]
that's all we know about how people we educated in the 1980s
after the great film famine of 1988, we lost some great historical documents
((are you ever going to stop me omg))
Lisa: Dude I have popcorn. I'm good with however long you wanna keep going.
Molly: hahahahahaha
Lisa: :-D
Molly: i'm done
but that was fun
Lisa: oh
[puts popcorn back on shelf and pouts]
Lisa: this is one of those convos that should go in the mollexicon archive as a seperate category
Molly: totes

Somet Hings, noun, renowned engineer

Somet Hings - n, 2011. Born two centuries before Abedila Curgle, Somet Hings was paving the way for the amazing generations to come with her many contributions to science and engineering.  After graduating top of her class from Glerac Hurglat University with double degrees in engineering and physics, Somat Hings turned her eyes to the sky and never looked back.  Six years after leaving GHU, Somat sought a patent for Gorflax's first inter-planetary spacecraft, capable of making a 225 million kilometer trek in 1 month, almost single-handedly making it possible to explore and colonize other worlds in the Centuron System.

Pronunciation: "So-met" "Hings" rhymes with "rings."

Etymology: 8/19/11

Lisa: Also I am now taping a show on animal planet called tanked that is apparently about people who make amazing fish tanks
Molly: kk
oh neat!
we need to clear somet hings off
somet hings was a Centuron physicist
she's credited with creating the first spaceship capable of inter-planetary travel.
Lisa: Ooooh
MOLLEXICON
Molly: :D
in fact, space-ships from that era are referred to as "Somet-class" ships
Lisa: Oooooh